8/31/10

I’m sitting in my new apartment, by myself. I’m surprised I don’t feel lonely. There were moments I would think of something and turn to say it aloud to my roommate, then realizing I was alone. At the moment, I decided it was okay to say what I needed to say out loud anyway. This made unpacking somewhat entertaining, although I probably shouldn’t get into the habit of talking to myself. I already feel crazy at times, analyzing situations to the point of exhaustion, so I don’t want to reinforce the harassing psychoanalytical side of myself by having imaginary conversations with no one next to me!

I stood in my apartment, knowing from here on out, I will stand on my own and start over (sigh) again. This is what I’ve wanted. Deep down I’ve had a desire to find out if I can remove myself from my comfort zone and just live life moment to moment, not knowing what will happen next. To step up the challenge, I decided try this in a new country. Really, what was I thinking? France was my first choice, but Japan had the job offer. So here I am, in Japan, not able to speak the language, adapting to a completely different culture, and figuring out how to process it all.

First things first, I wanted to know what my neighborhood is like, so I took a walk. There is a tiny park across the street from my building so I brought my camera with me and allowed the mosquitoes to feast on my legs while I explored. There is a cute historical building with an art gallery and small library in the center of the park. It was closed so I couldn’t go inside.  The park is pretty small, so my adventures in the neighborhood park only lasted a few minutes. Plus, the mosquitoes were really beginning to agitate me.

 I then, walked down my hill into the heart of town to pick up anti-itch ointment for all the bites I collected from the exploration. Inside the supermarket is a 100-yen store, which is like Dollar General in the States, so I decided to check it out and see if there was anything I could pick up for my new place. It was fun cruising around the 100-yen store, looking at the cheap house ware items and planning in my head how to decorate my apartment. I don’t have much space to work with being my apartment is roughly 300 square feet, but I relished in knowing I could say to myself, “I need to get this for my apartment up the hill…”

I also found out I could wear nail polish at work, which really excited me, because painting my nails is something I enjoy doing as a way to self-pamper. So, I picked out a professional pink with slight glitter, for flair. Then I picked out a new cutting board, some index cards to practice Japanese, and a hair towel. Leaving, I walked past a produce stand that was just about to close. I quickly decided on some apples. It had already been a long day, so I figured the produce market closing was my cue to go home and finish unpacking.

The rest of the night was spent rearranging, cleaning and figuring out how to fit the sheets on my bed. I still didn’t figure it out, but I somehow made it work. Everything is so tightly fitted; I ended up ripping one of the sheets, trying to stretch it in ways that it was not meant to be stretched. At least sheets aren’t multi-purpose! If that were the case, I’d have an even harder time figuring out what sheet goes where. Before you ask, “How could you possibly get sheets confused?” I will defend myself in saying; everything in Japan is neatly packaged, including beds. The box springs have a cover, the mattress has a cover, and the covers have covers! So I spent most of that time asking, “Where the hell does this go?”

 Then there’s my pillow….keep in mind, everything was delivered to my apartment, brand new, so there should be no mistake in what I’ve received. My fluffy, brand new pillow smells like dog breath. Yes, dog breath. For a second I had stopped and sniffed around, trying to figure out where the ‘dog breath’ smell came from. Then I smelled my pillow. Hmmm….I may just skip the pillow for tonight. It’s pretty bad! Although, I really miss my dog, so whenever I feel sad, I can count on my pillow reminding me of her breathing in my face.  Finally, the bed is dressed, my apartment is mostly situated and I was beginning to feel past the point of exhausted. It was time for bed.

To end the evening, I decided to walk around my apartment butt naked, just because I could. I have always lived with someone else, so I never had the freedom to hang out in my home ‘just as I am.’ It was very freeing. I truly felt empowered knowing I was on my own, doing what I wanted to do, in a foreign country, butt naked.